Is Your Baby Ready for Sleep Training? The Honest Checklist

You're exhausted. Your baby still wakes up every two hours. Your partner keeps asking, "Should we try sleep training?" And you're wondering if you're a terrible parent for even considering it. Take a breath—let's figure this out together.

Sleep training isn't about being a "good" or "bad" parent. It's about teaching your baby a skill they'll use for life. But timing matters more than most people realize. Start too early, and you're setting everyone up for frustration. Wait too long, and you might be suffering unnecessarily.

Here's the real checklist—not the Pinterest-perfect version, but the one that actually helps you make the right call for your family.

Your Baby Is at Least 4-6 Months Old

This isn't arbitrary. Before 4 months, babies genuinely need those night feeds, and their sleep cycles haven't matured yet. Their nervous systems simply aren't ready to self-soothe for extended periods. If you try to sleep train a 2-month-old, you're fighting biology—and biology always wins.

Most experts agree that somewhere between 4 and 6 months is the sweet spot, though every baby develops differently. Preemies may need a bit longer, and that's completely normal.

Your Pediatrician Has Given the Green Light

Before you start, have an honest conversation with your doctor. They need to confirm that your baby is gaining weight appropriately, meeting developmental milestones, and healthy enough to potentially sleep longer stretches without feeding.

Some babies have reflux, food sensitivities, or other medical issues that can make sleep training uncomfortable or even unsafe. Rule these out first. You're not being overprotective—you're being smart.

Night Feedings Aren't Nutritionally Necessary Anymore

Here's the thing nobody tells you: even when babies can go longer without eating, they might still wake up out of habit. But before you address the habit, you need to make sure they're getting enough calories during the day.

If your baby is taking full feeds during the day, eating solids (if they've started), and your pediatrician confirms they don't need night calories, you're likely in the clear. But if they're snacking all day and tanking up at night, you might need to shift their feeding schedule first.

You're Not in the Middle of a Major Transition

Is your baby teething? Did you just move? Are you going back to work next week? Is daycare starting in three days? Then hold off.

Sleep training requires consistency, and life's big disruptions make that nearly impossible. You need at least two weeks of predictable routine ahead of you. Otherwise, you're building a house on sand—it might look good for a day, but it won't hold.

Your Baby Can Self-Settle (At Least a Little)

Does your baby ever put themselves to sleep for at least one nap? Can they find their thumb or suck on their fingers? Do they sometimes resettle without your help for a few minutes?

These are signs that your baby has some self-settling capacity. If they can't calm themselves even slightly during the day, nighttime sleep training is going to be an uphill battle. Work on one nap first, then tackle nights.

You're Emotionally Ready (Be Honest)

This one's about you, not your baby—and it matters just as much. Sleep training can involve tears (theirs and yours). You need to be in a mental and emotional place where you can stay consistent, even when it's hard.

If you're dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression, or you're just not ready to hear your baby cry, that's valid. There's no shame in waiting. Sleep training works best when parents can commit without second-guessing every five minutes. If you're not there yet, give yourself permission to wait.

Your Partner or Support Person Is On Board

Few things derail sleep training faster than one parent sneaking in to "rescue" the baby while the other is trying to stay consistent. Everyone involved needs to understand the plan and agree to stick with it.

Have the conversation beforehand. Talk through what methods you're comfortable with, what your limits are, and how you'll support each other on tough nights. Sleep training is a team sport.

You Have Realistic Expectations

Sleep training is not a magic wand. It won't turn your baby into a 12-hour sleeper overnight. It won't eliminate all night wakings forever. And it definitely won't work in one night, no matter what some Instagram post promised you.

Most babies show improvement within 3-7 days, but "improvement" might mean going from waking 8 times to waking 2 times. That's still a huge win. If you're expecting perfection, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Your Baby Doesn't Have Underlying Sleep Issues

Some babies fight sleep because of sleep apnea, tongue ties that interfere with breathing, or sensory processing issues. If your baby seems uncomfortable, gasps during sleep, snores loudly, or arches their back constantly, get evaluated before you sleep train.

You can't train away a medical problem. And trying to do so just prolongs everyone's suffering.

You've Established a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Before you can expect your baby to sleep independently, they need to know that sleep is coming. A predictable 20-30 minute wind-down routine—bath, pajamas, book, song, whatever works for you—signals to their brain that it's time to shift gears.

If bedtime is chaotic and different every night, start there. Lock in the routine for a week or two, then tackle the actual sleep training.

You're Ready to Commit for at Least a Week

Sleep training requires consistency. If you try for two nights, give up, try again next week, then cave again, you're actually teaching your baby that if they protest long enough, you'll change your mind. That's the opposite of what you want.

Pick your method, set your plan, and commit to at least 5-7 days before you evaluate whether it's working. Progress isn't always linear—some nights will feel like steps backward. That's normal.

The Bottom Line

Sleep training isn't mandatory. Plenty of families co-sleep, nurse to sleep, or rock their babies for years—and that's perfectly fine if it works for everyone. But if you're drowning in exhaustion and resentment, and you've checked these boxes, it might be time.

There's no perfect moment. There's no guarantee it'll be easy. But if you're ready—really ready—your baby probably is too.

And if you're still unsure? That's what professionals like night doulas and sleep consultants are for. Sometimes you just need someone who's seen it all to walk you through it, hold your hand, and remind you that you're doing great—even at 3 AM when it doesn't feel like it.

You've got this. And if you don't feel like you do? That's okay too. Help is always an option.